One Track Mind Gets Derailed
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ICQ History Log For:
Dave
Started on Tue Feb 29 19:11:08 2000
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Dave sends
authorization request at 6:12 PM:
sex
Dark Lord: Now *that* was a
classy opening. We've obviously got ourselves a right
little silver-tongued charmer here.
Dark Mistress: Oh yeah... I'll
bet he gets *tons* of replies with that.
Mistress 6:25 PM Could you
please be more specific?
Dave 6:27 PM LOL excuse me?? more than that??? I think that would
be very unapropriate.LOL
DL: Oh getting all coy now are
we? It's a bit late for that. We already *know* that
you're a total asshole.
DM: Really! Jeez... if you're
gonna ask for sex, at least be able to clarify. He's probably not
had much more experience than his right hand.
Mistress 6:29 PM As if
having 'sex' as your reason for requesting authorization wasn't
inappropriate enough?
Dave 6:30 PM Ofcourse i admit that, but describing it would be
very unapropriate, wouldn't it??
DL: So
what exactly did you want? You start off coming over as a
slobbering horndog and now you want to be seen as being more coy
than Mother Theresa?
DM: I'm telling you, he
just doesn't have a clue HOW to describe it. "Uh... I put my
er... hands on your uh... thingies."
Mistress 6:34 PM Indeed it
would. So what posessed you to request on those grounds?
Dave 6:36 PM Tease, laugh, fun
DL: Oh yes - well you're sure going
about it the wrong way, matey. Somehow I can't see the
majority of women that get a pager saying 'sex' rolling around
laughing hysterically.
DM: Au contraire, mon ami...
I was laughing my ass off at this idiot!
Mistress 6:38 PM Okay then,
make me laugh!
Dave 6:40 PM O shoot!! that didn't make you laugh?? I am sorry
then, you have tickle yourself.lol
DL: Boy, you must have a pretty
warped opinion of women if you think that's enough to get them
rolling around. I'd take a break from hitting on women for
a while and get yourself a sense of humor first of all.
DM: And get a refresher
course in grammar while you're at it! Me Tarzan, you Jane. You
have tickle yourself.
Mistress 6:42 PM Now what
do I need to speak to you for if I'm going to end up having to
make my own self laugh?
Dave 6:46 PM you can talk about your life, your work, your fun
and all that
DL: So let me get this straight.
You just go around hassling women at random expecting them
to entertain you? Why don't you just do everyone a favor
and go switch the TV on instead?
DM: Probably because it's
past his bedtime, and his mommy doesn't know he's online.
Mistress 6:49 PM All right...
but first, let me ask you this: Why did you pick me out of all
the millions of ICQ users?
Dave 6:50 PM I was looking for a beautifull woman in the VA area
and went to icq white pages and found you
DL: This guy's great at
spelling as well as being witty and charming. Looks like he's
'ful' of crap to me.
DM: I didn't know the ICQ
White Pages listed people by physical appearance. Wow - and I
made the beautiful list!! ICQ has such good taste!
Mistress 6:52 PM How long
have you been looking?
Dave 6:53 PM 2 months
DL: It's going to take you a
hell of a lot longer than that to find someone if this is
your regular chatup routine, pal.
DM: That's for damn sure.
He's not the most subtle person in the world, nor the most
verbose.
Mistress 6:54 PM Do you
always use the same reason for requesting authorization as you
did with me?
Dave 6:55 PM To be honest with you, i am not using icq a whole
lot and I don't talk to too many people, just once in a while
with a few special ones
DL: Why don't I believe him?
Why do I think his fingers are bleeding from writing 'sex'
to every single female ICQ user on the East Coast?
DM: Hey... leave him alone.
He said I was special. <BG> hehehe Seriously, he'd better
be careful... he won't have a 'partner' for his nightly tete a
tete if he ruins his fingers on the keyboard..
Mistress 6:56 PM Oh really?
Why am I so special?
Dave 6:57 PM I don't know and i am not saying you are, we have to
talk and see, but hopefully you will be
DL: I think he's starting to
squirm a little here. I think he's just starting to regret
ever starting off this conversation.
DM: Oh yeah... and doesn't
he sound like someone's mother? "I don't know if you can be
special, We have to talk and see."
Mistress 6:59 PM You're
contradicting youself. You said you only do this seldomly with a
few special people, yet you don't know why I'm special yet?
Dave 7:01 PM I didn't say you are special , but you could be a
very special woman in the future. We just haven't chatted yet, we
have to chat first and get to know each other better
DL: I think that he's
definitely starting to sweat now. He's making absolutely no
sense at all any more. He keeps on going about 'we
need to chat first' but I can't see that he's making much of an effort
to start one off.
DM: "You could be a
very special woman in the future." Try now, risk free - only
twelve easy payments of $19.95, and you too, can be a special
woman!! Yep, he's giving that Right Guard a workout now!
Mistress 7:05 PM How are
you going to be able to tell if I'm special or not? What exactly
is it you're looking for?
Dave 7:06 PM Freindship, honesty, humour, sex
DL: Well if he's as bad at sex
as he is at humor, then I can't believe that he'd be able to get
it up at all. He seems just the type of guy that would make
the girl do all the work if this convo is anything to go by.
DM: Can't... comment....
laughing... too hard...
Dave sends another
authorization request: 2/29/00 7:07 PM
I gotta go now, but I'll add you so we can talk next time.
DL: You don't get added that
easy, mate. I think he definitely realized that he was out
of his depth at this point.
DM: Translation: "I
have to go wank now, as just talking to a female has gotten me
randy as hell! Please add me, so I'll have more material for next
time!"
10 PM Tell ya what - send me a letter at [email protected], and if you make a good impression, I'll add you, and we'll talk more.
DL: What a shame that we never
heard from him again. We definitely need someone with a bit
more staying power than that.
DM: Agreed... I was really
looking forward to seeing if he could string together more than
"Freindship, honesty, humour, sex".
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